Ryan Gosling Doesn’t Drink.


One day I saw this guy walking his dog on my street as I was pulling into my driveway. He said hello as I got out of my car and we started chatting. For the first few minutes of our conversation I was convinced this guy was Ryan Gosling. We were sort of far away from each other and it was really bright out so I couldn’t see perfectly. Towards the end of the conversation I introduced myself. I was expecting him to say Ryan, so when he introduced himself as [insert name here that isn’t Ryan] I of course, forgot it immediately.

I was hoping I would run into him again, because Ryan Gosling or not, he was really cute. (I googled if Ryan Gosling had a brother or a twin..turns out – he does not.)

Cut to a few months later on a Sunday morning in early September. My roommates and I were all severely hungover from a night out of drinking and dancing at Cherry Pop (best gay club for dancing in LA)..It was obvious that we needed Taco Bell to help nurse our hangovers. I volunteered to go. As I was walking down the driveway (makeup still on from the night before, tank top, boxers, nike dunks..I have definitely looked better) the sun was so bright and I was so disoriented that I missed a step but caught my fall on the railing. As soon as I looked up I saw Ryan Gosling walking toward me with his dog. Our conversation went something like this..

RG: “Hey!”

Me “Hey! How are you?”

RG “Good, I’m so tired though..I did not want to get out of bed today.”

Me “Oh I know how you feel. You’re hungover?

RG “Actually I was just up late working, I don’t drink.”

– – Awkward pause – –

Between the unforeseen turn that the conversation took and the fact that I was going to faint if I didn’t get Taco Bell into my system ASAP – I had to get out of there. I don’t remember exactly what happened next but I think I said something like “Welp, gotta go!” and ran for my car.

As I was going through the drive thru I realized that we don’t have much in common.. and that he doesn’t look that much like Ryan Gosling. Such a shame.

Of course after that day, I ran into him about twelve times that next week.

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